Holiday Hardships

Holidays are hard. And the weather in Colorado isn't helping. I see how stressed out people are during meditation classes. I just read a friend's blog about living after his children died. My mother just let go of her 15 year old dog who has been her close companion especially when my father travels for business. This time of year seems to make tragedy and loss more intense. The holidays bring out the best and the worst in us, including myself. Is it because of the expectations we have of happy families gathering around the fire, sitting next to the tree, eating and drinking merrily and sharing the love and closeness they have in their perfect homes trimmed with snow?

Both my husband and I are small business owners. The holidays are especially hard on us. For Jeff, owning a coffee shop and game store, there is pressure to do well during Christmas shopping season. How well you do is a sign of how healthy your business is. It is even more crucial right now with the economy being down and his 3 year old business still struggling to completely take flight. For me as a massage therapist, business goes down as people try to make all their commitments and save money to buy presents. When people need massage most is when they seem to put it on the back burner.

Between money and family, we put way to many expectations out there, for ourselves and others. We have expectations put on us by others. And, we have expectations that will never be filled due to losses in our lives - family members we will always miss more on the holidays.

This time of year, I try to do my best to go with the flow. It's a little harder this year and the routine is changed due to getting married. Sharing holidays between families - a huge stress on the holidays! I try to let go of expectations and understand my families dynamic - and by no means are we perfect. But as I've gotten older, I've realized that no family is perfect. I used to think my friend Rachel's family was perfect when I'd visit on Christmas Eve - so much laughing and family love. I soon learned that they were just as dysfunctional the rest of the year as mine or any ones!

At this point I think I've lost my point. So, to wrap up - be kind to yourself and others this season. The New Year will be here before you know it and with it, new beginnings and wishes . . . (to be continued)